Three Years of Reinvention: Lessons I Took from Leaving the CIA for Tech and Coaching, & DC for San Francisco
Three years ago this month, I walked out of the CIA for the last time after 15 years in government, with a deep sense of possibility and confidence in myself, but no real certainty of what my life would look like on the other side.
I moved across the country to San Francisco, a city I’d always dreamed about but where I knew exactly ONE person.
Since then, I’ve spent the years learning the tech industry at Tesla and then OpenAI, while steadily building my executive coaching practice from a passion project into a full-time endeavor.
There were false starts along the way and there were also wonderful new friendships. I met and am building a home with my incredible partner (and his two kiddos). And I learned, sometimes the hard way, how much reinvention asks of you emotionally as well as professionally.
If you’re in a season of reinvention, whether that’s a new city, a career shift, or building something from the ground up, here are a few things that helped smooth the path for me:
- Check in with yourself regularly. Every few months, I pause to look honestly at what’s working and what isn’t. Am I challenged? Do I feel psychologically safe? Are my days aligned with my values? When the answer is consistently no, it’s usually a signal that something needs adjusting.
- Lean into the new. During my first year in San Francisco, I made a point to do something new every weekend. New neighborhoods, coffee shops, trails, vineyards, or a cold, foggy beach with a book (yes, even in summer). Curiosity helped turn an unfamiliar city into home and long days into adventures.
- Protect your support systems. Phone calls, group texts, FaceTimes, and visits matter more than we sometimes admit. Distance doesn’t have to mean disconnection if you’re intentional about it. Channel your inner Girl Scout: “make new friends but keep the old.”
- Keep saying yes, but know when to rest. I tried multiple networking groups and had more than a few misadventures before finding “my people” (shout out to Wednesday Women in particular). The effort was worth it, and so were the breaks when I needed them.
- Give yourself grace. Transitions are hard. I’ve moved cities and countries about 10 times in my life, and there’s always a stretch of feeling lonely or untethered. Expect it, name it, and be kind to yourself when it shows up.
If you’re navigating a transition right now, you don’t have to do it perfectly to do it well. And remember that you have community here to help along the way!
