What Am I Even Qualified For?
When I handed in my badge in 2022, I could barely choke out “it’s my last day” to the security officer at the CIA. That kind, kind man at the desk by the stars and seal paused, saw my tears, slid a plate of Christmas cookies toward me, and simply said, “Take some.” I’ll never forget that.
Almost everyone I’ve worked with has a version of this story. People may have had different missions and worked in different buildings, but they all experienced the same lost feeling in the pit of their stomach.
Leaving was my choice. I wanted a pivot: to the private sector, to California where I could be closer to my then-little nieces, to a whole new version of myself. But standing at that desk, it hit me so hard that I wasn’t just leaving a job; I was leaving an identity I had wrapped myself in for years. Who was I without the mission, the title, the weight of it all? I didn’t know.
What came next was Tesla, and then OpenAI. From the outside it looks like a clean arc. From the inside, especially when I started looking in 2021, it felt like a completely blank map. I had spent my career in federal service (at CIA and State) where I learned over years the cultures, the hierarchies, and how to navigate the systems to get where I wanted to go, and it was so scary walking away from that knowledge and comfort. I asked myself again and again - what am I qualified for? How do I find my way in?
It took me longer than it should have to figure out the answers to those questions, and I did a lot of unnecessary flailing in the meantime.
Why I now focus on helping others make this transition
For the past four years I’ve been coaching people making the same leap, first on the side and now as my full-time practice. Most of the people I work with come from the Intelligence Community, State, USAID, the military, DHS, and the broader federal workforce.
A lot of them are leaving on their own terms. And a lot of people right now are not, and I want to say plainly that I know how much harder that makes every part of this. Losing your feeling of identity and tie to work you believed in is a real loss, and it deserves to be treated like one before anybody starts talking about resumes.
My practice is mostly one-on-one coaching, and a small-group job search course I teach monthly. I also offer regular free virtual sessions to help this community, including a monthly workshop on finding your direction after leaving government service, and a monthly Ask Me Anything session where I bring in guests to demystify different private sector and nonprofit roles. So far this year, in addition to workshop and AMA attendees, I’ve helped over 25 clients and students land roles: at large tech companies, government contractors, nonprofits and foundations.
Four Things to Keep in Mind
Almost every single person I worked with told me at some point that they felt lost. If you feel that way too, know that you’re not alone. Here are four things I see over and over and some quick advice:
1. Grief shows up before strategy does, and people often try to ignore it
When your identity is tied to a badge and a mission, walking away feels like a loss even when it’s a choice. If you don’t take the time to process, it’s likely to come out in ways you didn’t anticipate: in the interview where you stumble trying to explain why you left, in the offer you talk yourself out of, in the six weeks you spend “perfecting” your resume instead of getting out there and networking.
Take the space you need. It’s important and it’ll make everything easier later on.
2. Panic can look a lot like productivity
The instinct when you’re scared is to run in every direction at once: spend weeks or months perfecting your resume and LinkedIn, apply to every position that feels like it COULD be a fit for your background regardless of whether you WANT to do it every day for the next number of years, scroll LinkedIn endlessly in the hopes that something will click. It feels like progress, it produces almost nothing, and eventually you burn out and decide the market is impossible.
Intentional, targeted conversations with people who do the work you want to do at the places that culturally fit you will move you further than fifty cold applications. When you get specific about your goals, everything else falls into place and gets SO MUCH easier.
If getting specific about what you want next is the part you’re stuck on, MissionPivot™ can help you work through that before you spend more time applying.
3. Private sector hiring feels opaque and random, so people invent a villain, usually the applicant tracking system
I hosted an AMA earlier this year with an established recruiter who put it best: ATS is basically a spreadsheet. It filters for the hard requirements the job description told it to look for, and then a human being reads what’s left. If you’re getting rejected instantly, it’s usually because the parser couldn’t find the “five years” or the certification it was told to find.
Tailoring your resume to every job description using the exact phrases and terminology they use can help you get past that initial keyword screen. Even better, put your energy into getting an internal referral and go directly to a human!
4. Never forget that you are interviewing them, too
You don’t want just ANY job - you want the right job at the right company or organization FOR YOU. Run your own counterintelligence on them before you sign: talk to a bunch of people who currently or previously worked there and ask the questions that matter most to you in your interviews. Don’t automatically say yes if the opportunity doesn’t get you where you want to go, or is likely to make you miserable while you’re getting there.
You deserve a culture where you’re respected and doing work that energizes you on a daily basis. Don’t settle for less.
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Originally published as a guest post in Career Pivot.
