Why is networking SO hard?

I think the biggest mental obstacle to networking is that it often feels transactional. People generally don't love putting themselves out there, especially when it involves asking someone else for help. It makes you feel vulnerable, and like you're a burden, and what if they say no???

I think a helpful reframe is to view networking as a long term investment in building your professional network rather than just something you do when you're looking for your next role.

You'll be more successful in this shift if you do two things:

1) Don't skip the follow up! Tell people where you landed. Thank them for their help. The worst is when you put in a referral for someone and you never hear back on what happened. Imagine showing up to work on your first day and running into the person who vouched for you, only they are just now finding out that you got the job. (Yikes!) I've gone out of my way to help people who never circled back to tell me how it worked out, and it definitely left a bad taste. Part of my philosophy is - make it easy for people to help you. Following up proactively is part of that! And it will ensure that you continue that new relationship, rather than burning a bridge.

2) Grow a thick skin. I'm always making comparisons between the job search and online dating (IYKYK). The people you're reaching out to are SO busy. So much so that if they don't respond, it probably has nothing to do with you - you're just the hundredth message they got that week, and maybe they don't even have time to check their LinkedIn more than once a month.

In addition to not taking it personally if they don't respond, here are a couple of tips for crafting that message that will increase your chances here:

--> Give them context on who you are to them. How do they know you, who do you know in common, etc. Help jog their memory.

--> Be clear and up front about what you're hoping to get out of the conversation. And a big hint here - you're going to be A LOT more successful in your search if that outreach happens before there's a job you want a referral for.

--> Make your case - you want to tell them who you are in 1-2 sentences in a way that shows them they want you in their network. You've done interesting things, you're going places, you are worth knowing.

--> Be deferential and appreciative. Hopefully this goes without saying???

And if you’re not sure who you should be reaching out to in the first place, MissionPivot™ can help you get clearer on the roles and organizations you’re targeting so you can be more intentional about building those relationships. You want to have a long term outlook on these relationships, take every chance you have to make them want to know and help you, keep those contacts warm and let people know where you landed - especially those that helped you get there! And, if it doesn't work out, don't take it personally - on to the next!