Identity Beyond the Badge: My Last Day at the CIA

I cried on my last day at the CIA.

When I handed in my badge, I could barely choke out “it’s my last day” to the security officer. That kind, kind man at the desk by the stars paused, slid a plate of Christmas cookies toward me, and simply said, “Take some.” I’ll never forget that.

Leaving was my choice. I wanted a pivot: to the private sector, to San Francisco, to a whole new version of myself. But in that moment, I realized I wasn’t just leaving a job. I was leaving an identity I had wrapped myself in for so long. Who was I without the mission, the title, the weight of it all? I didn’t know.

Here’s what I’ve learned since: when we tie our worth to work, every reorg, every canceled meeting, every late-night Slack message feels like an existential crisis. We conflate urgent with important, and read meaning into interactions that have none, and it’s exhausting. It burns us out. And the irony is, your reputation suffers most when you can’t step back and see the bigger picture.

Balance is the key to avoiding this trap. It’s knowing your limits, choosing what’s truly important over what just feels urgent, remembering that you're more than your title, and protecting your energy so you can show up with clarity and empathy.

Your job is what you do, not who you are. If you can hold on to that perspective, you’ll carry your career instead of letting it carry you.